Scientific Studies and Common Sense

On the victim of a bully.

Another case of science bumping common sense out of the equation.

I read an article online a couple of days ago (unfortunately I didn't save it) about studies on why some children get bullied and how these victims can change their demeanor to become more acceptable. It stuck in the back of my mind until this evening when I finally had time to think about it and why it rankled.  Bullies were being excused for their behavior. 

Suddenly it was the victim to blame for lacking "social skills" and parents were being advised on how they could teach their victimized children to share and be socially acceptable to the bullies of this world.  

Is it only me, I thought, or are there other Moms out there who reject such an absurd idea;  reject the premise that a child who is bullied, somehow, through a subtle lack of social skills "asks" to be bullied and rejected because of their little nuances of possibly not seeing that their behavior is irritating the bully. 

Wow!  I do hope there aren't any foolish Moms who follow this idea simply because the article referenced scientific studies done by psychologists.  My goodness, common sense tells us that it is the bully that should be studied if anyone is going to be studied.  That it is the bully who lacks social skills and needs to be taught to share. 

It seems to me that in the rush to explain bad behavior in some people, it is expedient to find something in the victim that "forced" the perpetrator to act badly towards them.  How convenient.  Just think about how that can play out throughout life if we allow the bullies the "benefit of the doubt" and train the more timid of us to do everything to placate the bully's actions.

Tell that to a battered wife, a parent of a murdered child or a rape victim or a bombing victim. That way one is excusing the wife abuser, murderer, the rapist and the terrorist.  They are all just bullies who are irritated by what the victim does or doesn't do to them or because they simply couldn't get their way.

I reckon that is suggestive psychology at its worst.  I wonder if these people ever study common sense but I guess if you can't put a picture, a scientific equation or the right question to it, it doesn't exit.  Who can explain what common sense is?  It just is!  Some have an abundance of it and some, sadly, have absolutely none.